Learning

To prove I can blog something short... I was in a meeting today to discuss Enterprise Services Architecture (SOA), which is a riveting topic in and of itself. In talking about our experience with a less than stellar implementation of a particular product, someone said, "We wouldn't want to learn that again." Learn that again??? I laughed to myself. Isn't that an oxymoron?

Happy New Year! May we remember what we learned in 2008! :)

Pure Motivation - Is This Healthy?

I have been up in the air this winter about my goals for 2009, and what I want to accomplish with racing. I have been all over the map, from not racing at all to training right and making 2009 "my year". 2008 was supposed to be my year, but an early season hospital stay, the death of my grandma, and a demanding work project all kept my training way off mark. I didn't start coming around until the end of the season.

I was talking with a friend of mine, Barry, about this and some of my expectations in general. We got on the topic of why we want, and do, some of the things we do (especially when deep down inside we have some idea that it may not be the best for us). He told me about a recent church sermon focusing on new year resolutions, and thought it might help me clarify. He said to first write down at the top of a piece of paper "I want....". Then skip down a third of the page and write "Because...". Then skip down another third and write "Therefore, I will..."

This exercise sent me into analytical mode. I had no problem coming up with a list of "wants", but many were difficult to justify with "becauses". Not only that, a couple of my "Therefore, I will..."s contradicted some of my other "Therefore, I will..."s, which meant I can't have everything I want... even if it is justified!

Ironically, the "because" of that equation paralleled something I recently read in Brad Kearns' book about keeping your motivation pure when it comes to triathlon (and applies to any goal). Impure motivation will lead you to do things that ultimately sabotage your goal. If your motivation for doing triathlons is to impress your neighbor, crush your competition, or get attention from your peers and boost your ego, your motivation will likely lead you somewhere unhealthy. The possiblities include injury, burnout, illness, obsessive-compulsive behavior, anxiety, insecurity, fear... The catch-22 is that these things will ultimately have a negative impact on athletic performance, and work against what you are trying to accomplish.

A pure motivation in triathlon encompasses working toward your individual peak performance. Striving for something for the right reasons will lead you to be more mindful of obtaining it in the right ways. When making decisions about training and racing, Kearns recommends asking yourself one simple question, "Is this healthy?"

Barry and I talk a lot about that very question, regarding everything from our relationships to parenting. It takes a conscientious effort in everyday life to evaluate your decisions and answer that question objectively. Some people do not know enough about themselves to know if it's healthy or not, let alone to ask that question and act appropriately if the answer is no. And some are easily swayed by the influence and belief in others, and disregard the "no". In my life I call those situations "potholes". If you step in a pothole enough times, you learn to walk around it. You see it, and you make a conscious effort to avoid it. But then there's the occasional pothole that springs up somewhere you least expect, and you step in it again.

I like the dot dot dot list Barry gave me; I'm going to use it for training and some other goals for the coming year. However, I'm going to add a fourth element: "Is this healthy?"

No Problems

December is a tough month for my family. I am one of five kids, and two of us were lost too soon. My brother committed suicide in June of last year, and my sister has been gone for almost 11 years. Her death certificate also lists suicide, although both cases have extenuating circumstances. I guess with suicide, there always are.

Both my brother’s birthday and my sister’s are in December. Today actually, Decemeber 27, my sister would have been 48. She was a great girl, a loving person with the biggest heart, always giving away things and wanting to help people. For a large part of my life, she was my best friend, my big sister who had already been through whatever it was that was ailing me. We could talk about anything. I miss her.

My brother was single, and always came to my house for Christmas, as do my mom and dad. He would come baring armloads of gifts, the big ones for my kids, and lots of food. He was a chef by hobby, and Christmas Eve was always special with his gregarious stories, and whatever awesome food he had whipped up. He was also an incredible musician, and you never knew when some guitar pickin’ would break out. He bought me my first Jimmy Buffett album and turntable for Christmas when I was 15. I miss him.

They say there is no greater loss than that of a child, and I believe it. I experienced pain at both of those losses in my life, great pain. But my mother… There were times when her grief was so great and all consuming that whatever I was feeling was drowned out by my concern and sympathy for her. Her pain scared me.

So this time of year, while joyous for it’s reason and for my kids, is difficult. The end of December means a new year is upon us, and for added reasons in my family, gives time to pause and reflect on the importance in and of life, and the year behind us. I had some awesome times with my kids, along with some very trying ones. I had some great experiences and gut busting laughs with a significant other, and was hurt by the loss of that relationship. I have a job I love and that pays me well, that can also make demands of me which seem unreasonable. I was recently lamenting some of the woes in my life when my mom looked at me point blank and asked, "Really, Janine, what problems do you have?" Health, wonderful kids, a great job with financial stability and success, hope for a great relationship (and the realization I’m good if it doesn’t happen )… a mom who can look at me and ask that question. She was diagnosed with metastatic renal cell cancer (RCC) three years ago, so this could very well not be the case.

No problems, I have none! How lucky is that?!

Misery Loves Company, Especially on the Bike!

A few days ago we had highs in the single digits, and today it was in the upper sixties. It was overcast and windy, and oddly humid. While there was no precip, the pavement and roads stayed wet due to condensation. I don’t very often work out with anyone because of my schedule (which is rather erratic and often includes kids); most of the time I fit in a workout where I can. Today I unexpectedly found myself with a couple free hours, and with temps in the 60’s, and that meant I could get a ride in.

It was late in the afternoon, and I hastily dressed, got a water bottle, pumped my tires up, all the usual stuff, and set out. I’ve been reading a triathlon training book by Brad Kearns (Breakthrough Triathlon Training), and his explanations are easy for me to understand and accept... which means I like him. Without too much detail, he believes in building a strong aerobic base, which is obviously accomplished with longer aerobic workouts, as opposed to anaerobic (which has it’s place, but I won’t get into that here). So my plan was to go at least 30 miles (time constrained), but not push too hard.

I live on the outskirts of town, so a few miles from my house I can hit the country roads and have a few options for routes. With 20+ mile per hour winds out of the south, I decided on a southern route, taking the hit on the way out and having fun on the way back.

I got the first part of that equation right. A direct headwind, and I was pushing harder than I wanted to… in my granny gear! I was wondering if this ride was such a great idea after all. Then I started thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to share my misery with, and yes, maybe even take turns drafting a little. I’m not big on drafting since I don’t road race, and drafting isn’t legal in triathlon, but there have been plenty of group rides where I have been thankful to latch on to the wheel in front of me and hang on. My trip out took 50 minutes or so. I haven’t ridden in a couple months, and I was pleased at “feeling pretty good”, and a bit dismayed to once again be reminded that spinning at the gym will never the be the same as putting in miles on the road.

My trip back was fast, with a few long bouts of 30 mph. One thing I didn’t anticipate was that at 15 mph, water isn’t much of an issue. However, at 30 mph, the wheels spray water a greater distance, in this case up my back and up my legs. This may not be that big of a deal, but with the recent ice and snow, the roads are covered with black soot. That meant my legs, back (white jersey, ughh…), and my bike got covered in sandy, grimey, black crap! I was wondering why I only saw one other rider out there! And another case of my newbie-ness being readily apparent, I started the ride a little late and finished in the dark. That’s just a little stupid, and it was scary. I couldn’t find my headlight, I guess I lost it when I fell the other night. Bummer. Overall, I averaged 19 mph over 32 miles, so not too bad given the conditions.

While I was riding and thinking about the whole "misery loves company" thing, I first thought about how hard workouts are so much easier when you have a workout buddy. Then I thought about the life application of the concept, and was reminded of a print out I have from a woman who passed away from breast cancer in 2006. Her husband happened to be my mom's surgeon when she had cancer. She left a "Words to Live By" list for her then 6-year-old daughter. I keep the list posted because it encompasses so many things I believe in. The number one thing on the list is "Do not hang around people who drain you or drag you down. They aren't good for the mind or spirit." Isn't that so true.

More Gear - Triathlon Sunglasses

This summer I went on a mad hunt for the perfect triathlon sunglasses. Actually, I would have settled for something less than perfect, but I couldn't even find that. It got to the point where I was willing to pay top dollar, but price didn't seem to be the key. I googled, shopped, researched, and tried brands from $12 to $350, and couldn't find what I was looking for.

I have a pair of Smiths that I love for running, and have always raced in. They were ok, but when cycling in the areo position, I'd have to adjust to look over the top of the lens to see. Not exactly ideal!

Finally, at the end of summer, I went into an Oakley store and found what I was looking for. Oakley Eunduring Pace or Oakley Eunduring Edge fit the bill, http://oakley.com/women/pd/5619 (retail $175). Pace are rounded and have a bit more of a feminine look, and Edge are, well, a little edgey. They are light, come in a variety of lens and frame colors, have a women's specific fit, and fit high on the nose.

These glasses are tight (as in sweet!... although they do have a secure fit), and perfect for tri cycling. I think there is also a male version of these, but I'm not sure. As far as the price, not too bad... and if you know for sure they're what you want, they can be found for less on-line.

The Cold... and Cold Weather Gear

Ok, so running in 20 degree weather turned out to be a luxury. Today it's nine degrees with winds gusting up to 30 mph! I may be crazy but I'm not that crazy!

Actually, I was going to go to the gym today and swim a quality workout, and then spin easy. But I just couldn't get myself to go swimming when it's this cold outside. It's counterintuitive. So I did a good ab workout at home (which really counts as a day off), and I'll go to the gym tomorrow. It's a high of 20 tomorrow, so that shouldn't psych me out from the pool. :)

I did a hard spin at the gym Friday, then had an awesome massage. Holy shmoly, that felt good. My upper back and neck are sore from my fall. And my head was ringing all day Friday. So you'd think I would have learned my lesson. But on Saturday I thought I'd go to the MKT trail where surely ice wouldn't be an issue. Wrong! I guess the traffic on the trail packed down the ice and snow, which made for a nice layer still yesterday. I did a lot of stopping, walking tentatively, and yes, one good slide... ugh. Running like that wears you out! Is spring here yet??? Crud, winter's not even here yet! I did my usual gearing up, taking a mere 25 minutes this time, and ran 6.5 miles.

Speaking of gearing up, it's kinda funny the things that come to you in your sleep. I woke up this morning thinking about the gear I would manufacture if I had my own line. First of all, long hair sucks when you talk about cold weather. Last year I made my own pony tail stocking cap; I couldn't believe nothing like this existed. I cut a slot along one of the seams of my hats, and button hole stitched it with stretchy thread, and wellah... a place to pull a pony tail through. I guess not all girls sweat like I do; I get soaking wet from head to toe, no matter what weather I'm running in. Yesterday (and Thursday), my hair turned to dreadlocks and took forever to untangle. I had tucked it into the back of my coat, and the up and down motion was like a one hour ratting session. I wore baseball hat because there was precip, so my ponytail hat didn't fit right. If I could make my own perfect cold weather running hat, it would cover my ears good but have little elasticized poke through holes for ear buds or a headset (which I prefer), have slots in varying places along a back seam for a pony tail, be warm but breathable, have a nice band across the inside forehead to wick sweat, have a band that velcros to the back that you could pull around the front for a face mask, and have a flip down visor to have optional protection for your eyes (which is nice not just for sun, but for rain and snow, too). Perfect! I think I'll work up a prototype!

The second thing is some sort of warm, thin, waterproof but breathable running socks. Not as good as the hat, but still they'd keep your feet from getting cold and soaking wet when running in cold and precip.

Third, a good pair of mittens! I wear my ski mittens which are huge, but my hands stay warm in those. My Asics running gloves are nice, but they don't come close to keeping my fingers warm, so what good is that? "My" mittens would be light, small, and warm... and here's the part that makes them "mine"... I'd have a place (another elasticized hole!) to poke your pointer finger out. Have you ever tried dealing with an iPod or cell phone with mittens on? You just can't resist trying, which of course is nothing but frustrating!

So, who knows... if you see this stuff in the next couple years, you can say you heard it here first. And if you're reading this Nike, don't steal my ideas! :)

Ice, Ice, Baby

I was a bad ass Thursday night. Got home from work at 5:30, and it was cold with a little snowy drizzle. Instead of wasting 40 minutes of my evening driving back and forth to the gym, I decided to run outside. So, I waste 60 minutes finding all my gear, and getting it all on! That included tights, baggies over socks, shoes, two base layers, and running jacket, iPod, baseball cap, stocking cap over that, head band around all that, headlight, face mask, running watch, and mittens (last!)... what *am* I doing? One last question shot over my shoulder to my daughter as I headed out the door, "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?". The anticipated, "Uhhh, NO.", and I was finally out the door!

My headlight shone into the freezing rain\snow mix, and my breath rose into that, and I had one of those moments where you think, "Wow, how awesome... I wish I was sharing this experience with someone." I could feel the pressure of the wind hitting me, but I couldn't feel the wind (don't you love it when you gear up just right!!!). It was dark and in the 20's, my iPod was blasting, and I was warm and toasty, completely shielded.

The road was a bit slick, so I headed over to the golf course and got on the snowy cart path. No problem with traction there. I did two rounds of the golf course and thought I'd head back into my subdivision and do my usual "cover every road", on the sidewalk. Then I noticed the people that had shoveled their sidewalk had actually done the walkers\runner (that's me, no one else crazy enough to run run in this crap!) a disservice. The drizzle had froze and the shoveled parts were shear ice! Ok, move over to the grass for those parts...

4.3 miles and I was back at my house. Hmmm... this is such an awesome run, if I just go up and back one more time, it will be 5.3 miles, and I want to go at least five. I slip at the first driveway, and that should have been enough to send my rear home. But no, I *want* to go 5 miles and I am warm and feelin good! Second shoveled driveway, stop, walk, and pray. Third driveway, doesn't look so bad (did they salt, too?!), it's flat, I think I can slow jog. One step good, two steps not so good. Both feet come out from under me, I go down on my right hip and wrist and before I know it the back of my head cracks on the concrete. Kinda bounces, actually. OMG, am I ok? Did I knock myself out? My flippin' head hurts bad!!! Hurry, get up before someone sees you and calls you out for the stupid (albeit BAD) ass you are!

I walk home with my head between my mittens, thankful for the stocking cap that likely saved me from a concussion or worse. A quick look at my watch... damn, 4.8 miles!!! .2 miles short of my goal. Grrr! :)