F'ing Up

I'm kicking myself in the ass right now because there's this one thing in life that I cannot get right (and truthfully, there's probably more than one, but that's not the point). And the fact there's something I cannot get right isn't just me... it's a human condition. I mean literally, as humans we are conditioned to react a certain way (some innate, some learned from early experiences). To change is very difficult. (But to recognize the need for change, that's worth some points!)

I call it the fuck up phenomenon, and for all my friends and family who read my blog from Facebook, who don't know that I occasionally drop the f bomb... or think that I don't fuck up (haha, that's a good one), I am sorry! I can't help being blunt, because I can't describe it in any other way to give it justice. It's not just making a mistake, it is f'ing up!

A mistake is when you do something, realize you did it and it wasn't right, and then you don't do it again. A fuck up (I'll just say FU from here on out so I don't become known as the blogger who used the f word more than anyone else in any given blog), FsU (and that's "fucks up", not Florida State University... geesh) over and over again, and doesn't learn from their mistake.

So, let's recap... you do something, you realize what you did did not have the desired consequences, and you vow not to do it again. Until the opportunity presents itself again, and you think, "Maybe the last time was just a fluke and this time the outcome will be different." So you do the exact same thing again (and again, and again... yes, I am that stupid sometimes), it does not have the desired consequences, but in fact, has the same outcome as every time before.

Hmmmm..... so 1 + 2 = 3 the first time, and 1 + 2 = 3 the next time. Come to think of it, every time I have computed that equation, the result has been the same. But here is the kicker, I am still thinking that this time I can (because I am that special) make that equation work out differently. And that, my friends is f'd up! Ugh, I used to be so good at math.

What makes this situation even more ironic is that often times you see other people making the same mistake. And you shake your head in disbelief. If they are your friends, you point out the obvious and beg them to see the light (and take a math class for crying out loud). Why can't they see what everyone else does? It's SO obvious from the outside looking in. Why does it have to be so much harder when it's you?

Now wasn't that a nice reprieve from those boring running posts?! It was for me! :)