Mentally Peaking (Not!)

Sometimes I think I really should have two blogs... one for the training\running\triathlon aspect of my life, and one for the "other" aspects. They impact one another so much, though, it might be hard to separate them.

I had a good week of running despite being out of town on business. I managed to run three of the five weekdays, so not too bad. I ran 6.5 yesterday (Friday) morning before getting out of Austin in the afternoon. Today I really should have gotten out on my bike, but the 20 mph wind gusts were too much for me to contemplate for my first ride in well over a month. So I ran 9 miles of hills on concrete. (Bryan, I had to look up what "fell running" meant, and found out in the UK that's hills!) :) It was a hard run, literally and physically... concrete is not good for the shins and knees, and has taken some getting used to. Good shoe inserts (Arch Molds for me) have made it tolerable.

For some reason on every one of my runs this week I have become emotional. I had a rough winter, but have really held on strong. For some reason, this week has been tough. When I'm running, it seems everything in my life, present and past, streams through my mind. I think because I run alone, it's more of an opportunity for my brain to run amok. Sometimes (like I've blogged about even recently) I hit upon some pretty cool stuff... and other times, I find myself thinking about some of the more painful things in my life and the emotions are right there.

I think this week was particularly difficult because I was away from my friends and family. That emotional isolation catches up with me pretty quickly (evidently). I really missed my son; he was sick while I was gone, and I happened to call him when he was crying. Yuck... I wanted to hug him so bad! My brother committed suicide in June of 2007, and there are times I just really miss him. He was an incredible musician (guitar player), and being in Austin made me think of him a lot. And then my mom... I'm just so worried about her. She's not calling or writing any more, so I know she's only getting worse (dementia). I dream about her a lot, and my dreams always tell me what's really on my mind.

And then there's relationship stuff, and the situation with that guy I blogged about last week. Get this... while we were having that drink, I mentioned a friend of mine. After that sob story of an email he wrote me, he actually emailed her (got her info from my Facebook page) and asked her out for a drink. I really don't care about him or what he does, but the level of dysfunction frustrates me... it's disheartening.

Geesh, I am so sorry for being such a negative Nelly! However, this is my blog. :) Thanks for putting up with me and reading; I'll start feeling better now that I'm home... I promise!