Why Is It So Hard To Stop Before It Hurts?

Getting older sucks! Yes, I know... it's better than the alternative. Yada yada yada... Did you know that both hypothyroidism and Raynaud's is tied to autoimmune diseases in women? Yeah, me either. I think I blogged about having severe cramps after what turned out to be my last 10 mile run (I know, probably another case of TMI, but I actually passed blood for two days). I was feeling like shit anyway, just fatigued. After that, I decided pressing things wasn't worth my health, and began laying off a little. Then a couple weeks after that, I had a blood vessel spontaneously break in my... tongue! I was putting on my make-up before work, and all the sudden I felt my tongue begin to swell. I looked in the mirror, and the left side was completely purple... and big! It was alarming for a number of reasons (how could this happen, and why?), but the most obvious was I didn't want to suffocate! I looked and saw my phone on the night stand, and just waited to see. The swelling remained but stopped...

Later I called the doctor (the fabulous, gorgeous, and awesome Dr. Vahabzedeh), and they said it was likely fine, and to come in the next day. He came in the room and of course had to ask me about my "ass"... I can't tell you how nice it is to have a doctor who sincerely cares about your ass (ha, he was referring to all the MRSA stuff). Good there... then he cut to the chase. Which was, all this stuff I'm experiencing could be related to an autoimmune disease. They took blood, and I don't know anything yet, but I'm assuming it can't be that bad since that was three weeks ago, and I haven't heard anything. I have a follow up appointment next week.

After all that, two things happened. First, for the couple days after, I was kicking myself for taking my health for granted. What if it was something serious, what if what if what if. For fear of a blood vessel spontaneously breaking, say, in my brain... I quit working out. For one month I have done nothing... except work in and around my house. And I think obsessively about how much fitness I am losing, and not racing. Man, I am tired of those thoughts!!! I don't know what bothers me more, not racing, or the thought of not being in good physical condition.

The good news is, I am feeling a little better. I am beginning to sleep better again, and the lay off has done me good. This week I decided to start back slowly... until I figure out what's going on with my health. I ran a few days ago, and could only make it 4.5 miles because of pain, and that was with stops in there. OMG... terrible. And for two days following, I was sore! I know the sensible thing is to get back into running by starting with a couple miles, and increase slowly. I know it won't take long to work back up. Today I went out and... no pain for 4.5 miles.

I took it easy, and after three miles was thinking "just stop before it hurts". Then tomorrow or the next day go a little further, but stop before it hurts. But why is that so hard to do??? By the time you feel pain, damage is done and it's too late, and in the end it costs you more than if you had stopped. And then I started thinking about all the things in life that that can apply to...