Help, I've Fallen

I fell on my bike last night! Ugh, I hate that. I was cruising along with a slight tailwind, on a slight downhill, crankin' along at well over 20 mph. As I approached the stop sign at a highway, I was watching both directions. Yay, no cars, I can blow through (yes, I know the rules of the road, yada yada yada).

About 15 yards out from the stop sign, I see the glint of metal to the far right. A car. The question is, can I make it? That's one of those split second thoughts, but of course, there's no room for error. In that instant I realize I have to brake. I didn't have any problem coming to a stop in time, but what I did have a problem with in that short amount of time, was downshifting.

A key component to staying on your bike when at a near standstill in clipless pedals, is to be able to pedal just enough (inches) to keep your balance. I've become fairly adept at this over the past few years. Unfortunately, last night, as I came to a stop, I went to exert a little pressure on the pedals to maintain uprightness... and nothing! I was in too high of a gear to have any effect at all, and over I went! That's one of those things that just torques you!

Ironically, I seized the moment to stretch a little, get a good drink, and when I took off again I felt refreshed. Either that, or the adrenaline was still helping me a long.

While I'm talking about cycling, I'm wondering if anyone has ever tried a Blackwell Research ISM Adamo Racing saddle. It looks rather unconventional, but I have yet to find a saddle I really like, so maybe conventional isn't for me.











Or, the Blackwell Flow... If you're a female triathlete, and you've tried either of these saddles, let me know how they worked for you!

Negative Splits

I ran six and a half miles Thursday after work, on the trail. Mackenzie had soccer practice for an hour and a half, which meant after I dropped her off and drove to the trail, it left an hour to run. I rode over 30 miles the night before, followed by a short run, and I was a little sore. So I really didn't have a plan, just do what I could do.

My turn around on the trail corresponded with a water fountain and bathroom. I noted on my watch 27 minutes and whatever seconds. I was a little surprised because of my long workout the night before, and running in the evening is not the optimal time for me to run. I decided then to push it a little, and make it a negative split.

A negative split is when you try to run your second half faster than your first. For a slow runner like me, it's hard to do. It's especially hard for me now; my performance compared to a couple years ago has really faltered.

I was a half mile into my second half when a guy passed me. He had a nice easy stride and I decided if I could hang on to him, I would make my negative split. I fell into a bit quicker rhythm, and was heads down, just watching his shoes… and breathing. He'd pick up pace a little, and then slow until I thought I'd have to go around him. He must have heard me, because then he'd pick up pace again. With about a half mile to go, he really picked up the pace, and I was in an all out sprint to keep up.

I wasn't sure if he'd stop at my stop, but he did. I was never so relieved to be done with a run; I had stuck with him. I walked to the stretching post and he came over and said laughing, "I'm very competitive, I don't want anyone to pass me." I laughed and said something about how he must have felt having a girl keep up with him. I just thought it was a little funny cuz he was young, in his twenties, and he felt he was being competitive… with a woman in her forties! That said more about him than me, but I didn’t knock him. Whatever it takes to keep you getting out there…

On the run back my thoughts had drifted as they usually do to life, and how quickly time goes by. Life is a negative split… the last half seems to go so much faster than the first. I wish there was a way to reverse that.

Over The Hills and Through The Hood...

...to a Cardinal's game, we go!

I took Ray to a Card's game last weekend, and we had a blast! He was so cute; everyone around us got a big kick out of him. His eyesight must be amazing (or mine is just crappy), because he would spot players 40 yards out and scream, "There's Brendan Ryan!!!" or "There's Yaddie!!!". He knows all the players by name, and of course, Pujols is his favorite. We had a great view of the field, on the first base line.
Raymond is a lot like my brother, Steve; he doesn't know a stranger. Whenever I'm around my brother, it always strikes me how social he is. He can and does talk to anyone, anywhere. I was brought up with the "never talk to strangers" rule, and as a result, I have this deep down fear that if I talk to a stranger, something really bad is going to happen. I'm pretty sure they'll jump on me and attack me, or lightening will strike... something. Ray is like Steve, and I like being out with them both, for this reason. And I usually don't get attacked (ok, I never have...), and more often then not, I have a more fun and interesting experience.

And this was the case with the Card's game. Interstate 40/64 is under construction and closed 10 miles out from the city. I had somewhat forgot about that, and as I was re-routed onto a side road, I saw the Metrorail sign. I wondered out loud "Maybe we should just take the train in." Never say that with a six-year-old in the car, unless you really want to ride the train! I parked the car, and there we were... in a St. Louis suburb neighborhood.

Being out of my element doesn't really bother me, but I always want to be safe. In these situations you feel like if someone is looking for a target, well... here I am. But forge ahead. We get our tickets from the automated ticketing system, and go downstairs to the platform. A young girl offers us a seat next to her on the bench, and Ray does his usual "Hi, we're going to a Cardinal game. What are you doing?" Followed by 10 or so other questions, along with information I wouldn't really share with anyone, let alone a stranger. I take a picture of Ray, and she asks if I want her to take our picture. Yes! As she takes it, some boys in the background decide to mess around a bit, and she giggles and tells them to move. She takes the picture, and I jokingly tell the guys in the back that I'd love a pic with them in it. A few of them disappear, which is kind of funny, but two join in:


Our new friends! :)

Trash Talkin'

I got in my SUV this morning, feeling just a little pissed off. When I had gotten up earlier, I found a note from Mackenzie on my purse... in large red writing it said "There is a HUGE water leak in the basement. Look under the rug." Sure enough, I went downstairs and there was a large wet circle smack in the middle of the living room. No wetness leading up to the circle, no leak in the ceiling... I could only figure it was coming up from the concrete. Help me!!!!

So as I started my vehicle, the radio was blaring Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory". I love Bon Jovi! I thought about needing to download some of their stuff to my iPod, and then remembered it was trash day. I have a special method of taking out the trash, that is highly effective (especially when you're in heels and work clothes), and a bit stress relieving at the same time. Here's how you do it.

Depending on if you are pulling out of your driveway forward or backward, place your trash on top of your vehicle, closest to the curb. Since I have a long driveway, I back out of my garage, and drive forward out, so this morning my trash looked like this (only one bag this week):


Then mash the gas pedal to the end of the driveway, and slam on your brakes. The goal is to get good enough with your speed and alignment to get perfect placement of the bag on the curb. I nailed it this morning, with the bag landing right next to mailbox in the grass!

I'm going down in a blaze of glory...

Janineology

When blogging about my vacation, I had enough decorum to crop the picture and not put a full body shot of me in a bikini. I'd like to claim I was being a good mother (or hmm hmm, sister) and refrained from exposing my daughter on the Internet... but that would be a lie. I was totally protecting myself.

My daughter, however, didn't feel the need to protect me or herself, and posted all our pictures on Facebook. So they are semi-protected (only 682 of her closest "friends" can see them). I was less than enthused about this "revelation", until I saw a comment posted by one of her friends. It said, "I love how your mom can go as your sister."

Ok, I forgive her.

Happiness Comes Of...

One of my best lifelong friends (hi, Ted!) :) once texted me:

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to be needed... I need you!

Wow, that's just as powerful to me now as the day I first read it. I have shared it with a couple other special people in my life, and the actual meaning sticks with me. The exact quote, authored by Margaret Storm Jameson is:
"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.”

If this is true, I must be (or should be) happy. But I know several people who struggle with the "to think freely" element in their life. What does to think freely mean? Don't we all do that?

I was talking with a friend the other day about secrets, and I used the term "live in the light". I don't want to do things that for whatever reason have to be hidden, from anyone. Have I always been able to do that? Of course not; very few people can make that claim. But when things come up that ping my conscience, I do think, what if everyone knew about this? How would I feel?

I guess an element of this that came up in discussion was keeping secrets from your significant other or spouse. Not necessarily keeping secrets, but not divulging how you really feel about something, not acknowledging the truth (whatever that might be). Obviously some things are better left unsaid (those jeans make you look fat), but why keep secret the more important issues?

I don't know if that's what Storm Jameson was referring to in "think freely", but it's how I understand it. Whatever relationship I am in, I want it to be (as someone else put it) 100% transparent. I'm just thinking freely here... :)

Havana Daydreamin'

OMG, help me, I can't stop! This morning on my way to work I was trying to change radio station and I accidentally ejected the CD... then pushed it back in so I didn't have to deal with it. JB playing again, and I got hooked. Havana Daydreamin' came on, and it hit a chord..."he's just dreamin... his life away". I think I'm having a mid-life crisis; I seem to be thinking *a lot* lately "wth... wth am I doing with my life? This is it, one shot, am I living it that way?" I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about it... ugh.

So back to my trip notes before I lose the desire to write about it (even though I kinda have). First of all, I busted my ass getting the trip together at the last moment. Airfare, hotel, rental car, chartered fishing trip, places to see and eat... Our flight got into Fort Lauderdale at 1:30 a.m. Thursday morning because we couldn't leave until Wednesday evening, and we lost an hour.

At 2 a.m. or so, I was ready to get my rental car at the airport. I went to pay for it and my credit card was declined. Oh, no, you've got to be kidding me! I don't use credit cards much; I have two accounts (only one of which I had a card for), but they don't have balances. I always get those stupid checks in the mail... and that's the only reason I even know the accounts are still open. Or *were* still open. I vaguely recall a few months ago that I got a letter saying they were going to raise my interest rate from 5.9% to 23% or some such crap... and there's no way I'd pay that. So, no I don't accept your "terms". I guess they gave me 90 days or something, and then they closed the account. Nice bastards... Zero balance (at the time, I used it for Internet purchases and the like), never late, customer for 10 years or better, and they closed my account.

So, use my debit Mastercard. Wait a minute, where is my debit card? Holy crud, it's gone! So there we are, 2:30 a.m., airport deserted, no credit cards, no car. Thankfully I had some cash and had prepaid a hotel close to the airport (and thanks for that one lone taxi that came out of nowhere). The next morning I call my bank, realize Mackenzie has her debit card, transfer a couple grand to her account, and at least we have acess to some money. The problem is the rental car; I need a card with my name on it to rent from the majors. I look in the yellow pages and find "no credit card needed" local car rentals, and dial the first one "A Rental Car". I find out that it's named "A" Rental Car so it appears first in the yellow pages. Effective...

I talk to Eddie on the phone. He's leery of me... why do I need to pay cash? I tell him the story, and he's still leery. He says they need $500 cash deposit, and the car will be $170. Ok, come and get me, I tell him. Fax insurance info first, then I'll come. Ok... done; he arrives an hour later. Here's the good part. Eddie is a twenty something Puerto Rican, and he is *hot* (over 6', muscles, short hair, slight goatee... eye yie yie). Things are looking up... a little eye candy to relieve the stress. We have to hit an ATM or three for me get the $500 cash deposit, and in that time I find out where Eddie lives, that he has a couple kids but his wife messed around on him and they divorced, where he parties... and he makes sure I know where he'll be that night (it's ladies night, I can drink for free!). OMG...

We get the car and to the hotel, finally... and we are ready to start the vaca. The beach is beautiful, and we have this incredible view from our room:


We went deep sea fishing and first thing, I land a sailfish! I fought it for a while, then Mackenzie wanted to try. I had it close to the boat, and when I handed her the pole, with the release of tension, the thing took off. All you heard was "zzzziiiinnnnnnnngggggg". She got it close again, and I turned off my camera and was going to take the pole from her... and get this... the first mate (who clearly knew how to fish the area) grabbed the line! Ugh, even I know not to do that! I started to say "NO", and with one flick of its tail, it was gone.


Mackenzie surprised me by wanting to go to the Miami Seaquarium. It's located on the way to Key Biscayne, and it's really a great set up (although the park is old and a little run down). They pump water in from the Atlantic, which is within feet of the park. Their shows were more entertaining than I anticipated, really done quite well. The killer whale is awesome, with the trainer swimming with it, and it lifts her, throws her, and flies her from under the water back on the platform on her feet. Pretty cool.

Last year (with a girl friend), we didn't venture to the nude beach, which is a half mile from the hotel across the bay inlet. This year I didn't consider it an option, and I don't really have a desire to go there, anyway. What was different this year is that there appeared to be more European clientele in the area as a whole... so we didn't have to go to the nude beach to be in eyeshot of T & A. Thongs were common place... and as I ventured down the beach a mile or two for my walk\runs, so were topless lesbians making out on the beach, hot guys in thongs, on bikes, and in one case... sprawled on the beach in see through white trunks, laying just where the waves washed over his legs. Holy moly... that was almost too much for me to handle! And I wished I'd had my camera when I came came across a military type dude, built and tanned, in a G-string... who was setting up a towel in front of his flipped over mountain bike! A G-string, sand, and mountain bike... an odd combo, but to each his own.

Miami Beach, I can't wait to go back next year! And I'm pretty sure I'll go back to "A Car Rental"! :)

Changes in Latitudes

Ok, so I'm still on my JB kick... (30+ years and counting).

I am not a very sentimental person, in the tangible sense. I have a few "items" that I keep, and when I get them out or run across them, they evoke memories and emotion. More powerful than that, for me, however, are the feelings that come from music, and scents, and places... in that order.

Music is a pretty common one; most people can hear a song from a different era in their life, and be taken back to that time or situation. Music speaks to you. It puts into words and sounds your experience; it validates your feelings... you are not alone. Smell is actually just as or more powerful to me than music, but it doesn't happen so often. Lavender will always remind me of a certain someone, and I love the scent. Without fail, I will think of this person every time I smell it. And it literally brings out a physical reaction in me, a little rush of adrenaline and feeling of anticipation. Then there's this Bath and Body stuff that I used to use, that did the same thing for the guy I was seeing. Then he started using the shower gel so he could smell it and be reminded of me. Now when I smell that, I get a pang in my gut. I stopped using it, and hid it away. I only thought of it because Mackenzie found it a couple weeks ago and used it... and when she walked into the kitchen, I had a sudden urge to hit her over the head with the cast iron skillet. :) (Maybe I should be using it every day, and that would desensitize me to it.)

Places... that brings me to my trip. Last year when I went to Miami Beach, I was in a totally different state of mind. I was in love, and was loved the same way. The friend I was with insisted we would return there, and it would be for my wedding. That seemed like a grand plan to me (and at that time I believed it was a very real possibility). This year I returned, not for that reason, but with my daughter. While I was looking forward to it, I also felt a little apprehension. This year I was not feeling in love or loved (in *that* way)... and it was with mixed emotions that I returned. It's such an incredibly beautiful area, and I love just about everything about it. It's odd to experience such contrasting emotions at the same time: pain/regret and wonder/awe.

After my five minute pity party, which only I showed up for, I let the wonder and awe win out! With a few trials, we had a good time, and I made new memories. More on my vacation next blog... (sailfish, whales, and nude beaches, oh my!).