Changes in Latitudes

Ok, so I'm still on my JB kick... (30+ years and counting).

I am not a very sentimental person, in the tangible sense. I have a few "items" that I keep, and when I get them out or run across them, they evoke memories and emotion. More powerful than that, for me, however, are the feelings that come from music, and scents, and places... in that order.

Music is a pretty common one; most people can hear a song from a different era in their life, and be taken back to that time or situation. Music speaks to you. It puts into words and sounds your experience; it validates your feelings... you are not alone. Smell is actually just as or more powerful to me than music, but it doesn't happen so often. Lavender will always remind me of a certain someone, and I love the scent. Without fail, I will think of this person every time I smell it. And it literally brings out a physical reaction in me, a little rush of adrenaline and feeling of anticipation. Then there's this Bath and Body stuff that I used to use, that did the same thing for the guy I was seeing. Then he started using the shower gel so he could smell it and be reminded of me. Now when I smell that, I get a pang in my gut. I stopped using it, and hid it away. I only thought of it because Mackenzie found it a couple weeks ago and used it... and when she walked into the kitchen, I had a sudden urge to hit her over the head with the cast iron skillet. :) (Maybe I should be using it every day, and that would desensitize me to it.)

Places... that brings me to my trip. Last year when I went to Miami Beach, I was in a totally different state of mind. I was in love, and was loved the same way. The friend I was with insisted we would return there, and it would be for my wedding. That seemed like a grand plan to me (and at that time I believed it was a very real possibility). This year I returned, not for that reason, but with my daughter. While I was looking forward to it, I also felt a little apprehension. This year I was not feeling in love or loved (in *that* way)... and it was with mixed emotions that I returned. It's such an incredibly beautiful area, and I love just about everything about it. It's odd to experience such contrasting emotions at the same time: pain/regret and wonder/awe.

After my five minute pity party, which only I showed up for, I let the wonder and awe win out! With a few trials, we had a good time, and I made new memories. More on my vacation next blog... (sailfish, whales, and nude beaches, oh my!).