First Dates, Kept Dates, and Apologies

I had a date on Sunday, a couple of them, actually. The first one had been on my calendar all week. I was to meet God at church at 11:00 a.m. sharp on Sunday. It had been a while since I called Him, and He was probably beginning to think it wasn't going to happen. But He's good (and yes, He knows). He made such an impression, that despite my chaotic schedule and lifestyle, I couldn't forget Him. So on Sunday, I kept my date.

As the first song was playing (Woodcrest is a contemporary church, and the band and music are awesome), I was immediately sucked in and thanking God for meeting me. My next thought was to apologize... "God, I'm sorry I kept you waiting and at bay. You deserve better." I then quickly came to the realization that the only one I had let down, and owed an apology to, was myself. I truly regretted that I had let this area of my life dwindle down, so slowly it was not really recognizable, until it was non-existent. I cheated no one but myself.

My mom and I often talk about God winks, those little coincidences that you might want to dismiss as just that, coincidence. But if you have an open heart and have faith, you come to believe that those are not coincidences. God is talking to you! While I was lamenting that I could have let this aspect of my Christian life go, the pastor was talking about something similar... living life without God, and trying to do it all yourself. This took him to a quote by Jacoby Shaddix, lead singer of the heavy metal band Papa Roach: "There are always outside forces trying to tell you what to do. So, we just put up our middle finger to critics and other people, and say, 'We're gonna do what we're gonna do.' We stand up for ourselves as a band, and our message to our fans is to shut yourself off from anyone who wants to run the show, and run it yourself."

While this is minor, I found it a little ironic. I had never heard of the band, or the lead singer, but Jacoby? This is a huge congregation (average weekly attendance is in the thousands)... and I don't know of any other Jacoby's in all of Columbia, let alone this congregation. How many times in the past year and a half (the amount of time I've missed church) do you think they've flashed my last name up on the big screen? And it happens on the day I am there, and having these feelings? This, my friends, is a God wink!

The pastor's point was that while the quote might make you believe this person doesn't need or want help, he wrote a song, "Lifeline", that might indicate something else. Here's the song the band played, and they did a kick ass job! Put on your head phones, or just use your speakers if they're good, and *crank* this song:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=57058517

So as all this was going on in my head, I thought of both dates I had planned that day (a "real" date was to follow). I was glad the one with God was the one that had been kept. Not that the other one hadn't been... I just hadn't heard from the guy, so I wasn't sure it was going to happen. As I was leaving church, I got a text, "I'll call you in an hour" (no, not from God! ha), so my next date was on. I couldn't help but think, you have a tough act to follow!

Lifeline by Papa Roach

When I was a boy I didn't care about a thing
It was me and this world and a broken dream
I was blaming myself for all that was going wrong

I was way out there on the wrong side of town
And the ones that I loved I started pushing 'em out
Then I realized that it was all my fault

I've been looking for a lifeline
For what seems like a lifetime
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

So I put out my hand and I asked for some help
We tore down the walls I built around myself
I was struck by the light and I fell to the ground

I've been looking for a lifeline
For what seems like a lifetime
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

Is there anybody out there?
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

You know a heart of gold won't take you all the way
And in a world so cold it's hard to keep the faith
I'm never gonna fade away, yeah

I've been looking for a lifeline
For what seems like a lifetime
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

Is there anybody out there?
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline

For a full transcript of the service (it is worth the read!), go to:
http://www.woodcrest.org/resources/message-audio-and-notes/09-20-2009-the-inner-piece-fixing-it---pieter-van-waarde-sr.- pastor.html